Ian Ziering character Fin Shepard
Tara Reid character April Shepard
Cassandra Scerbo character Nova Clarke
Vivica A. Fox character Skye
Judah Friedlander character Bryan
Debra Wilson character New Bryan
Alaska Thunderfuck character Morgana
Neil deGrasse Tyson character Merlin
Marina Sirtis character Winter
Leslie Jordan character Benjamin Franklin
Darrell Hammond character George Washington
Ben Stein character Alexander Hamilton
Roy Taylor character Jebediah Clarke
Dexter Holland character British Captain
Kevin "Noodles" Wasserman character British First Mate
Viscreanu Constantin character Paul Revere
Dee Snider character Sheriff
Jonathan Bennett character Billy the Kid
Chris Owen character Thirty-Year-Old Gil
James Murray character Eastwood
Gilbert Gottfried character Rand McDonald
Tori Spelling character Raye Martin
Dean McDermott character Gilly Shepard
Benjy Bronk character Connor Beale
Christopher Knight character Grandpa Clarke
Catarina Scerbo character Young Nova
Bernie Kopell character Charter Boat Captain
Chuck Hittinger character Matt Shepard
Ryan Whitney Newman character Claudia Shepard
Israel Sáez de Miguel character Captain Santiago
Marcus Choi character Palmer
Alexandre Ottoni character Azzinaro
La Toya Jackson character Cleopatra
James Hong character Confucius
Eileen Davidson character Marie Antoinette
Shad Gaspard character Muhammad Ali
Jayson Paul character Joe Lewis
Kato Kaelin character Viking King
Patrick Labyorteaux character Caesar
Sharon Desiree character Joan of Arc
Bo Derek character May
Gary Busey character Wilford Wexler
Mark McGrath character Martin
Masiela Lusha character Gemini
Al Roker character Al Roker
John Heard character George (archive footage)
Anthony C. Ferrante character Quint Singer
Robbie Rist character Quint Guitarist
Roxanna Bina character 1950s Dancer
Raine Michaels character Girl in Bikini
M. Steven Felty character Hologram Gil (voice) / D. Brown
Andrei Olteanu character Frodo
Chris Ridenhour character Townsperson
Thunder Levin character Bar Patron
Tiberiu Harsan character Medieval Gil
Brendan Petrizzo character Hologram Gil
