Seth MacFarlane character Ted (voice)
Mark Wahlberg character John Bennett
Amanda Seyfried character Samantha Jackson
Jessica Barth character Tami-Lynn
Giovanni Ribisi character Donny
Patrick Stewart character Narrator (voice)
Sam Jones character Sam Jones
Patrick Warburton character Guy
Morgan Freeman character Patrick Meighan
Michael Dorn character Rick
Bill Smitrovich character Frank
John Slattery character Shep Wild
Cocoa Brown character Joy
John Carroll Lynch character Tom Jessup
Ron Canada character Judge
Liam Neeson character Customer
Dennis Haysbert character Fertility Doctor
Tom Brady character Himself
Jay Leno character Jay Leno
Jimmy Kimmel character Jimmy Kimmel
Kate McKinnon character Kate McKinnon
Bobby Moynihan character Bobby Moynihan
Taran Killam character Taran Killam
Sebastian Arcelus character Ed Danzer
Jay Patterson character Karl Jackson
Steve Callaghan character Comic
Nana Visitor character Adoption Agent
Maggie Geha character Female Nurse
Jessica Szohr character Allison
Craig Ricci Shaynak character Blind Guy
Lexi Atkins character Waitress
Dustin Ybarra character Borg
Julius Sharpe character NYC Doctor
Michael Steven Costello character Jury Foreman
Barry J. Ratcliffe character Pundit
Tina Grimm character Comic Con Booth Girl (uncredited)
John Franchi character Bar Patron (uncredited)
Claudia Zielke character Baroness Girl (uncredited)
Vincent M. Biscione character Ted's Court Gallery (uncredited)
Alexandra Creteau character Wedding Guest (uncredited)
Jack Knight character Todd Kidder
Lauren Sánchez character Boston Newscaster
William Xifaras character Boston Neighbor
Curtis Stigers character Wedding Singer
Liz Morgan character NYC Nurse
Alec Sulkin character Obi-Wan
Ralph Garman character Stormtrooper
Vanessa Vander Pluym character Juror
J. Mark Donaldson character Juror
Becki Dennis character Receptionist
Michael Trisler character Cyclist
Ryan Hanna character Jogger
David Goldman character Pundit
Ronobir Lahiri character Pundit
Nefetari Spencer character Pundit
Jeffrey Stubblefield character Pundit
Wellesley Wild character Pundit
Lenny Clarke character Cop (Boston PD)
Chris Neville character Cop (Boston PD)
Rachael MacFarlane character Meighan Assistant
Christy Scott Cashman character Reporter
Josiah Blount character Comic Con Fan
John Viener character Police Dispatcher
Kate B. O'Brien character Diner Waitress
Billy Concha character Bachelor Party Guest
Tara Strong character Ted Toy (voice)
Tiffany character Tiffany
Bart A. Piscitello Jr. character Bailiff
Ted Jessup character Pundit
Chris Regan character Pundit
Joseph J. Micucci character Nerd (Wedgie)
Matthew J. Walters character Hellboy
Aaron Zell character Vendor
Scott Wahle character Film Executive
Luke Adams character Wedding Announcer
Brittany O'Connor character Cake Girl
Julie Schmid character Piano / Ginger Girl
Rose Wakesho character Comic Con Attendee
Katie McCabe character Hot Comic Con Girl (uncredited)
Stanis Krista Ames character Courthouse Spectator (uncredited)
Kt Baldassaro character Wedding Guest (uncredited)
Laura-Elise Barrett character Booth Girl (uncredited)
Anissa Borrego character Flash Girl (uncredited)
Roseny Carrero character My Little Pony Booth Girl (uncredited)
Chia Chen character Comic Con Attendee (uncredited)
Lexie Contursi character Piano / Ginger Girl (uncredited)
Chassidy Cox character Comic Con Attendee (uncredited)
Nea Dune character Comic Con Attendee (uncredited)
Diana Emuge character Comic Con Attendee (uncredited)
Michelle Fonseca character Courtroom Observer (uncredited)
Enku Gubaie character Wedding Guest (uncredited)
London Hall character Reporter (uncredited)
Isabel Wagner character Comic Con Attendee (uncredited)
Sandra Yap character Comic Con Attendee (uncredited)
Isabella Sanchez character Comic Con Booth Girl (uncredited)
Sagan Rose character Ginger Girl (uncredited)
Elizabeth Pollard character Fairy at Comic Con (uncredited)
Kim Mulhauser character Wedding Guest (uncredited)
Olivia McCarthy character Booth Girl (uncredited)
Sophie Mazzaro character Fox Booth Girl (uncredited)
Anna Maiche character Kissing Couple (uncredited)
Kandiss Lewis character Scat Pack Girl #2 (uncredited)
Toi'ya Leatherwood character Ginger Girl (uncredited)
Christopher Weigel character Well Wisher (uncredited)
Zola Williams character Dancer (uncredited)
Ronald Boone character Yacht Guest (uncredited)
Noelle Trudeau character Wedding Guest (uncredited)
