Mark Wahlberg character John Bennett
Mila Kunis character Lori Collins
Seth MacFarlane character Ted (voice)
Joel McHale character Rex
Giovanni Ribisi character Donny
Patrick Warburton character Guy
Matt Walsh character Thomas
Jessica Barth character Tami-Lynn
Aedin Mincks character Robert
Bill Smitrovich character Frank
Patrick Stewart character Narrator (voice)
Norah Jones character Norah Jones
Sam Jones character Sam Jones
Tom Skerritt character Tom Skerritt
Bretton Manley character Young John
Ralph Garman character John's Dad
Alex Borstein character John's Mom
John Viener character Alix
Laura Vandervoort character Tanya
Robert Wu character Asian Man
Ginger Gonzaga character Gina
Jessica Stroup character Tracy
Melissa Ordway character Michelle
Max Harris character Greenbaum Kid
Zane Cowans character Kid #1 / Young Ted's Voice
T.J. Hourigan character Kid #2
Owen Clarke character Kid #3
Kristina Ellery character Heavenly
Katelyn Lorren character Cherene
Chanty Sok character Angelique
Sarah Fischer character Sauvignon Blanc
Cassie Djerf character Waitress
Joe Siriani character Guy at Table #1
Pat Shea character Guy at Table #2
Paul Campbell character Guy in Line
Josh Duvendeck character Guy #1
Chris Cox character Guy #2
Henry Penzi character Partygoer (Ted's Buddy)
Tania Cabrera character Girl at Party
Colton Shires character Teenage John
Viera Andrea Moya character Plymouth PR Worker
Heajee Kim character Club Girl
Lydia Hannibal character Ellen
Shawn Thornton character Crazy Guy
Eric Weinstein character Stagehand
Danny Smith character Waiter
Mike Nikitas character Newscaster
Robin Hamilton character Female Newscaster
Mike Henry character Southern Newscaster
Johnny Lee Davenport character Husband
Chris Everett character Wife
Tara Strong character Bellybutton (voice) (uncredited)
Ted Danson character Ted Danson (uncredited)
Ryan Reynolds character Jared (uncredited)
Olivia Jordan character Party Guest (uncredited)
Alexandra Creteau character Club Patron (uncredited)
Emmalyn Anderson character Concert Attendee (uncredited)
John Franchi character Tourist / Pedestrian (uncredited)
Ronald Boone character Liberty Mechanic (uncredited)
